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Roedelius and The Secret History of Rock’n’Roll

August 11, 2014

When I use this phase “The Secret History of Rock’n’Roll,” I am not talking about hushed conspiracies, or Masonic veins running through the seats of power, or ancient aliens having drawn something in the Central American Desert 2,000 years ago that looked just like the album sleeve to Supertramp’s “Breakfast In America” (though how cool would that be? Very, very cool, I tell you).

The Secret History of Rock’n’Roll is the long cast of largely unknown characters who were massively influential, far beyond their common fame. The Secret History isn’t just the chronicle of celebrated outsiders whose work is called pioneering, like, for instance, Lou Reed or Brian Eno; it’s the story of the people who influenced those people. The Secret History is the story of the inventors whose work, done largely in the shadows of cult-dom and obscurity, profoundly shape-shifted the course of the Painted Golem That Is Pop And Rock, the giant who chases us in our dreams and whose grunts, groans, and lullabies are the soundtrack of our life.

It is not necessary to leave the work of these groundbreakers to the geeks, collectors, and followers of the fringe; nothing untoward will happen if a little mainstream light is shone their way.

When I speak loudly and proudly of the Secret History, I am talking about people like LaMonte Young, the avant-garde drone composer who began working in New York City circa 1960. Young created the sonic and instrumental palette of Jet-Age drones, end-of-the-world thumps, and Indian-intonations that we would later associate with the Velvet Underground; in fact, the original nexus of the Velvets, John Cale, Tony Conrad, and Angus Maclise, all came out of his ensembles. Cale had the notion of using Young’s extraordinary musical vocabulary as the setting for quasi-pop songs, of introducing Dylan-esque word-rambles and Motown soul-riffs into Young’s dronescapes; with this confabulation, one of the most profoundly influential and intriguing bands in rock history, the Velvet Underground, were born, and none of it would have happened without Young’s prior work.

A very similar character in the Secret History is New York composer Glenn Branca, who began making his mark in the late 1970s; influenced by LaMonte Young and European industrial-noise neo-classicists like Penderecki and Xenakis, Branca used multiple guitars, tuned and played in a unique style he perfected, to mimic the sound of large orchestra sawing, hissing, and screaming. Via extreme volume, unison tuning and de-tuning (i.e., literal detuning of the instrument), and a “double strum” technique involving strumming the guitar at 16 and even 32 strums per measure continuously for extended periods, Branca was able to create the sound of steel tanks moving across a barbed-wired desert; it was (is) unrelenting, extreme, beautiful, often absolutely angelic, capable of reproducing the end of the world as no synthetic instruments or orchestra ever could. It is also the “sound” that Thurston Moore and Lee Renaldo, Branca ensemble members in the early 1980s, borrowed, virtually without alteration, when they created Sonic Youth. Like Cale and Reed a generation earlier, Renaldo and Moore took the specific techniques of a composer they apprenticed with and applied these techniques, previously used only in long-form compositions, to a short-form “song” format. When you listen to Sonic Youth, anything by Sonic Youth, you are hearing the invention of Glenn Branca.

There are literally dozens more figures like this, and their genius and their innovations comprise the wonderful Secret History of Rock’n’Roll; some of them are better known, like Joe Meek, some of them lesser known, like the person who really was meant to be the focus of today’s column, Hans Joachim Roedelius.

You, and you, and you, too, and you there with the glasses, and Layne, and you sitting there in the corner wondering what the hell went wrong with Arcade Fire, you all should know about Roedelius. He has been making music very regularly since 1970, and virtually everything he has ever done, at every stage of his work, is vastly listenable, intriguing, and unique but infinitely user-friendly.

Starting around 45 years ago, Roedelius used analog and synthetic keyboards to create magical melodic, rhythmic, and textural landscapes, sometimes emerging as almost bubble-gum like pop songs; other times as Satie-like melodies of profound and exquisite emptiness and air; and still other times as proto-industrial bubbles of noise and rhythm. He was doing all this inventive stuff prior to 1976, after which his keyboard-driven mixture of pop and art, ethnic rhythms and noise, simplicity and invention, became far, far more common, due to the spreading of his influence. In his groups Harmonia and Cluster, as a solo artist, and in many collaborations, Roedelius has created a consistently wonderful catalog of startling soundscapes, and pop concrete.

Most pertinently to the non-follower of Krautrock’s delicious and endless obscurities, if LaMonte Young birthed the Velvets and Branca sired Sonic Youth, Roedelius is the primary influence on Brian Eno, a man often thought of as devoid of such influences. Eno’s entire musical world-view – the eccentric mad scientist creating large-screen but minimalist worlds of melody and texture on the keyboards – is an appropriation of the work and innovations of Roedelius (by the way, I am fairly certain Eno would happily admit this; he began recording with Roedelius in the mid-1970s, and they have made numerous remarkable albums in various combinations together). Roedelius pioneered the softening of Krautrock’s aggressive guitar landscapes and minimized avant-jazzisms into a form of luxurious, melody-ripe keyboard excursions, often condensed into a “song” format Krautrock largely disdained. In the process, Roedelius did two very fucking substantial things: he essentially invented ambient music, and he essentially invented Brian Eno. In addition to these two very significant achievements, Roedelius harnessed the keyboards and found a way to bridge the lyricism of classical music with the minimalism of avant-garde music, all the while keeping a firm foot in pure pop song.

(A little explication of terms: when I say “ambient” music, I am using it in the distinctly German/Eno-esque sense of the term: a wide-screen road full of very interesting bumps, rock, and potholes of noise, melody, and concept, anticipating and integrating the simplicity of punk rock but with even more adventure; secondly, although it may initially appear derisive or even racist, I am use the term Krautrock because it is the widely accepted name of a specific genre of music, specifically the explosion of wildly diverse, madly creative, magnificently influential music that exploded out of West Germany between 1969 and 1980. I will write at far, far greater length about Krautrock in the near future, because that epoch is literally nothing less than the greatest fruition and realization of Caucasian Rock’s creativity and promise.)

We also note, with many, many exclamation points implied but not actually employed, that Herr Hans Joachim Roedelius is still very much alive and very active musically, at the age of 80; like Neil Young, Scott Walker, and sometimes Paul McCartney, he is an artist whose current work is still very, very vibrant and alive, and every bit as worth investigating as any of the archival stuff. Now, Roedelius is one of those artists with a complicated discography, full of many labels and compilations; just get any or all of them. There’s your damn buyers guide. If it has Roedelius’s name on it, buy it. There is a resounding unity of quality to his work, always consistent yet always surprising.

If you are a lover of music beautiful and challenging, devastatingly familiar but shockingly creative, if you have ever listened to Chill-Out music or Album Leaf or any of that Buddha Lounge garbage and wished it was better, wished it felt like rock’n’roll yet had the grace of Brahms or Satie or the Goldberg Variations, Roedelius is your man. He is one of the Kings of Contemporary Music, and when one investigates The Secret History of Rock’n’Roll, investigates it with joy, an open heart, an open mind and ears tuned fiercely to the heroic seeds of the music of our life, I hope you find utter delight in the emotional magic and sweet/bittersweet dreams to be found in the work of Hans Joachim Roedelius.

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My Life As A Child News Junkie Climaxed 40 Years Ago Tonight

August 8, 2014

As children, we are awed and entertained by dinosaurs because they have a scale and size incomprehensible to us, yet being both extinct and easily reducible to toy and cartoon, we can manage these fantastic objects. Our world at that age is incomprehensibly large, inaccessible and mysterious; so we turn to these great creatures to bridge the gap between dream and nightmare, fantasy and reality.

An early love of the space program – common to us children of the 60s, but perhaps not as common to later generations – served a not dissimilar function. The whole idea of Man in Space was a manageable giant, something we could grasp and wrangle for our own amusement, unlike so many of the other inaccessible mysteries of our life at that age.

When we outgrow dinosaurs and space travel, we need to find new links to a world that is not yet quite to our scale; these links must appear substantial and heroic but non-patronizing and befitting our (slightly advanced) age. For many pre-pubescent (even if puberty presents its own set of scarring catastrophes, at least from that point forward we can exist more or less on the same physical scale as the adult world), something that is accessible yet still rich with myth and heroics is sport; like dinosaurs, sports allows us to look up but still touch.

I was a little different. Yes, I collected baseball cards and avidly followed the nearby New York Mets, but for me, the primary pre-pubescent myth in my life, the link that made the mostly-remote adult world both tangible and malleable, was news.

From around age 8 or so, I was a serious new junkie. This made me feel both part of the distant adult world and distinct amongst my peers. I would make a point of watching virtually every minute of the Channel 7 news at 6, switching over to CBS to watch Cronkite at 7. I always watched the 11 O’clock news, too. In addition to this, I would read Newsday literally cover to cover every day, and would struggle through at least a few columns of the New York Times. Perhaps most significantly (and the most certain evidence of my addiction), before my age had even hit two digits, WCBS Newsradio 88 was on somewhere in the house at all times, and I would keep it on all night (I was well into my 30s before I abandoned the habit of sleeping with all-news radio on).

Frantically following the events of the city, the nation, and the world – from the utterances of Mario Biaggi to the proclamations of Governor Rockefeller to the body counts in Vietnam – made me feel like I was relating, successfully, to something much larger than myself at a time when very little else in my environment (school or family) was giving me much to work with. News had become my new dinosaur, the manageable giant, massive in scope but scaled just to my size.

The climax of my life as child news junkie happened 40 years ago tonight.

A brief aside about generations: there are a few moments when everyone, regardless of class, race, or location, are glued to the TV. 11/22/63, 7/20/69, 8/8/74, 1/28/86 (the Challenger Explosion), 9/11/01. The onset of the internet era, surprisingly, has not effectively altered this, because live television is still the best medium for instant dissemination of picture-friendly live events (and you will note that in the prior list, I omitted two extraordinary moments of shared news – the assassination of John Lennon on 12/8/80 and the death of Princess Diana on 8/31/97 – because neither of those actually unfolded in front of us on TV, as those earlier events did; they were merely reported). We are defined by these moments, if for no other reason than they create universal touchstones; we all can remember where we were on these days, and the presence of these bookmarks in the hippocampus ease the process of recollection and nostalgia (i.e., we don’t just remember we were watching CNN during 9/11, we remember the apartment we lived in, the TV set, where we purchased the TV set, what meal would remain uneaten, etcetera).

On August 8, 1974, along with most of America, I watched as U.S. President resigned from office for the very first time. I sat cross-legged on the floor of a family den in Great Neck, Long Island, my face only ten inches from the television screen, almost in an apoplectic state of excitement over the notion that I was watching history. After all, I was the kid who was too excited to sleep when Yankee pitchers Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich announced they were swapping wives, and here was a President, resigning. Not only did I watch it, but I taped it, on a prized cassette recorder which I jammed up against the TV’s speaker; and not only did I watch it and tape it, but I saved every issue of Newsday and the New York Times for a week before and after the event.

For a 12-and-a-half-year-old boy, it was a perfect storm of news hysteria. I do not honestly believe I formed any actual opinion about the event; I was just enraptured on two significant fronts: It was NEWS, giant, undeniable, world-impacting NEWS, and secondly, it set the massive news machine in motion, as all the newspapers and TV stations (local and national) and news radio stations hummed and whirred importantly and obsessively (I now recognize that what I was really intrigued by all that time was the process of news reporting, it’s creation, dissemination, and history – but more on that at another time).

It was also the climax – the final blowout, the ultimate, farewell fix – of my life as a child news junkie. Soon, very soon, the obsessive romance with news would end (at least it would lose its’ fanatical flavor). My need to have that link to the larger adult world, the final step in the dinosaur-to-space race to-sports-to-news fanatic flow chart, would lose its fuel, as two important factors entered my life: puberty (which allowed me to visualize the onset of equality in the adult world, a concept that is virtually unimaginable to the pre-pubescent), and the entry of rock’n’roll into my life.

Rock’n’roll was the final dinosaur; it was as full of myth and miraculous characters and stories as the legendary dinosaurs, astronauts, or athletes, but these people, these men and women behind guitars and mics and in front of amps and under the lights, clearly had been teenagers, and they told our story.

So on August 8, 1974, I kissed Nixon goodbye, and made room in my life for Ray Davies, who has yet to resign from office or lose his place in my heart.

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Letter to a Young Alternative Rock Fan

August 7, 2014

Dear Layne:

Most of my personal myth seems to refer to events that took place in the early 1980s.  I recognize that this is the time when my life was most absolutely and utterly subsumed by the circus of underground music, unfolding around me as I crouched, strode, swayed, loped and loved through the streets of lower Manhattan, its low-ceilinged ash-and-ale smelling bandclubs, and many neo-tenements slanting above the same.   Not only was my whole life music, but it was a grand and grinning, chic and challenging time for music, too; and I was especially saturated in the world of the far-underground, far-left, ferociously independent music world as I was at no other time in my life.

(Hah, “saturated”?  Nay, my Smiths-idolizing friend, not merely saturated, submerged, deeply submerged in the underground, day and night, from my first handful of Cap’n Crunch around noon to my last swallow of medicinal-tasting Vodka and Orange at the Holiday in the pre-dawn hours, when the East Village was cloaked in darkness, sirens, and the sound of band-flyers being slapped to walls.)

I learned extraordinary lessons during that time; but in the gruesome, fattening and flattening climb up the ladder of age (an ascension which makes time appear to go quicker at precisely the time you wish it would go slower and which offers no reward at the end but the weightlessness of infinite mystery), I realize that what I really learned is that I wish I had known more then.

So, begging your pardon and asking you to briefly set aside the Strokes and Front Bottoms so dear to you heart and instead offer me your precious young ear for a moment or two, I would like to dispense some backwards-glancing wisdom, meant to instruct the forward-thinking Young Alternative Rock Fan.

I begin:  For every band you might be familiar with from that time, there are likely a half dozen more whose names would ring no bell to your finely tuned, Hold Steady-loving ears; let me tell you, in tones hushed and reverent but also hyperkinetic and proselytizing, about some of these.  Let’s name only a treasured few: there’s Liquid Liquid, one of the most original bands this City of Whitman, Melville, and Ginsberg ever produced; they created starlight with rhythms. There’s UT, the most unheralded yet most supremely artful of the early ‘80s Lower East Side noise bands, three women who literally knitted gossamer and iron with their instruments, producing music that was almost indecipherable yet completely affecting.  And can anything compare to the experience of seeing ESG for the first time, in their teenage prime, playing the most supremely melodic, ultra-minimal music?  You almost literally could not make more with less.  And let us salute Glenn Branca, the godfather of all downtown noise music, the maker of great sonic earthquakes and almost disabling metal symphonies, without whom there would be no Swans or Sonic Youth, and no Sonic Youth’s children.

Next, please note the following: Do not, my young friend, spend the precious hours of your youth wasting time pretending to like albums that “feel” important, but are, in fact, piles of old deer scat, humus-like and mossy in texture and smelling akin to weeks-old kitty litter.  If listening to something feels like a job, if you are constantly having to remind yourself “This has gravity, this sounds important,” do yourself a great favor and walk away, quickly, without regret.  I call this the Sandinista and/or Any Radiohead Album After The Bends syndrome.  Seriously.  Life is short, and for every In Rainbows there are a dozen genuinely compelling and majestic ACTUAL “deep” albums out there that fill the listener with joy and expectation of repeated plays, like The Incident by Porcupine Tree, Expensive Sound by Empire, Vibing Up the Senile Man by ATV, Ghosts of Princes in Towers by The Rich Kids, Dopesmoker by Sleep, Watertown by Frank Sinatra, and so very, very many more.  If you are irrefutably in the mood for something familiar yet utterly new, deeply progressive yet defiantly simple and loaded with the same kind of depth you might find in Pet Sounds, We Are The Village Green Preservation Society, or Abbey Road, look no further than Metal Box/Second Edition by Public Image Limited.  In fact, every time you feel the urge to force yourself to pretend you are enjoying a basically unlistenable Radiohead album, JUST PUT ON SECOND EDITION.  This, this, is the real thing. It is one of the greatest and most scene-changing albums of all time.  Oh, also, do you want to listen to a deeply “heavy” album that is a joy to listen to, first moment to last?  Try Searching for the Young Soul Rebels from Dexy’s Midnight Runners — as intense and full of meaning as a Joy Division album, yet delicious to the ear and riven with melody and message.

Speaking of Vibing Up The Senile Man, I pray you to note this:

As the princes, princesses, and pretenders of punk and post-punk age and become memorialized only by their debut albums or some confabulated greatest hits collection (two-thirds of which is drawn from the debut album), it is important to note that some of the best work of many first-rate punk and post-punk bands actually came in their less-heralded second albums, work that has sometimes fallen into obscurity.  So, my teaching here, you barely-shaving lover of Ted Leo, is to pay attention to second releases from bands with legendary debuts.  These include (to detail just a few) Valley of the Dolls, the deep, Mott the Hoople-meets-Quadrophenia second album from Generation X; Cast of Thousands, the songwriterly, almost elegiac sophomore release from The Adverts; the impeccable, virtually flawless, spare and full Chairs Missing by Wire (every bit the masterpiece that their debut, Pink Flag, was, only with just a few breaths added); The Saints Eternally Yours, one of, perhaps, the ten fundamental albums to emerge from the punk movement, a perfection of their formula that mixed rama-lama, riffs, soul, and substance; and there’s even room for a much-abused oddity, the Damned’s second album, the Nick Mason-produced Music For Pleasure; even though it is the least essential of the Damned’s masterful ’76 – ’84 five-album run, it is still a treat, full of the tension of a band coming apart at the seams and fighting the perceived limitations of their sound, but riffing, rolling, and steaming ahead all the same.

Next, and certainly not least:  Listen to Krautrock, a lot of Krautrock.  The seeds of everything good, powerful, stimulating, thought-provoking, and right in Alternative Music lies in the work of Neu!, Can, Ash Ra Tempel, Amon Duul II, Cluster, Harmonia, La Düsseldorf, and Hans Joachim Roedelius.

Most significantly (if I can ask you to turn down the headphones which you presently have on, on which you are surely listening to Les Butcherettes or Speedy Ortiz or the Accidental Seabirds or Not Your Average Goat or whatever suchlike happy malarkey you grinning 20-somethings listen to), here is the prime lesson I wish I could go back and tell my 20-ish year-old self, and which I impart to you with great hope, affection, and sincerity:

I was so wrapped up in the world of alternative and outsider music that I missed some of the truly great rock’n’roll being made in the late 1970s and early/mid 1980s.  I thought an essential part of my identity was to reject the mainstream, to be associated with the underdogs, the college rockers, and the independents; so subsumed was I in this “Us vs. Them” mindset that my mind was closed, too closed, to some magnificent, majestic, thrilling, eternal songs and albums.  For instance, I now know that David Lee Roth-era Van Halen were one of the greatest bands of the rock era; that their combination of riffs, instantly enchanting songs, shellacked-in-steel production, high-end performance (that didn’t distract from the composition), and the indisputable, singular brilliance of Roth, one of the greatest singers and personalities ever to stand under the lights or in front of a mic, made for one of the greatest acts of all time.   Likewise, I wish that someone had tried to impress on me that Rush, despite their inherent ridiculousness (such deep ridiculousness that it almost celebrates itself), were a really good band.  And let’s not even start with Abba, and I most certainly should have spent a great deal more time with Boston, Thin Lizzy, Judas Priest, and Steely Dan.

I hardly know what today’s equivalents of these kind of acts are – in other words, who are the mainstream artists actually making consistently excellent, enjoyable, challenging, and rewarding music – but do not assume, just because something is on a major label or plays country music or plays death metal or whatnot, that they aren’t doing something equal to or superior to the groaning army of young ironists who make alternative music.  When in doubt, listen to David Lee Roth-era Van Halen, loud and all the time, it’s pretty much better than anything except maybe PiL and Neu!.

One very important penultimate point, which I pass on to you, you chaser of Screaming Females and Superchunks and Savages and Donkey Baseball, is this advice that I consider essential to any artist, young or old:

Irony Kills Art.

Art, sincerity, passion, heart all die in the shadows of the smug and ironic.

Oh, and finally, anyone under 30 who grows a beard or a moustache is a tool.

With warmest regards, hope, and gratitude for your time,

Timothy A. Sommer, the Godfather of Slocore

(Read but not dictated)

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I Turned Down A Date With Morrissey

August 6, 2014

There are some artists who announce themselves so forcefully, so brightly, with such power and grace; at these moments, you shiver a little bit, you know something special is going on, you sense this artist may be with you for a long time, and you frequently discern all this before the vocals even come in.

The Smith’s first 45, “Hand in Glove,” had this effect on me (and I gather many others).  A rich, ringing arpeggio, just very slightly off kilter, skipped off the turntable and out of the speakers, and you were sold even before the vocals came in; and then they came in: underlining the shock of the newly familiar and the familiarly new, pathetic and adamant at the same time, charming and mysterious, a bizarre combination of whining and sexy, it felt a little like some twisted and precise singer both of the ‘50s and the ‘80s, maybe Marc Almond if he actually was Gene Pitney, maybe Brian Wilson if he was Lance Loud, deeply confessional but verging on, well, silly; and the music had some familiar references, most notably Orange Juice and the ratchety-“What Goes On” sound so typical of the Postcard bands, but there was a poise and precision and swing here that Orange Juice always sorely lacked.  I also sensed, somewhat instantly, that this band were an appropriate book-end to R.E.M. who had tsunami’d into our consciousness about a year and a half earlier; both had common roots in the Velvets and the coffee-fueled sensitivities of poetry and Patti, though curiously the influence that R.E.M. took from the dB’s and Athens art-rock and the independent influence that the Smiths took from Postcard and Manchester post-punk bought both bands to a very similar place via fairly different avenues (I should write about that at greater length in the future!).

I played “Hand In Glove” over and over again, then went out and bought the 12”-version so I could distinguish the glowing clarity of this extraordinary object in higher depth.  Of course, I also combed the British music press for any more information about this extraordinary new band.

The Smiths came over to play Danceteria in New York City on New Years’ Eve 1983/’84.  This was a time when some very creative and wonderful promoters, who were true music fans, would regularly bring the ‘hot’ or ‘about-to-be-hot’ new British bands over to New York City for just a show or two.  Now, the people most responsible for this were promoters/cultural artists Ruth Polsky and Jim Fouratt, two of truly the most important people in the entire story of alternative music in New York City; to be frank, I don’t recall which one of these incredible people, both sweet and brilliant, was responsible for bringing the Smiths over.  I could certainly clear this confusion up in one email, but both of these people are so dear to my own personal history, and so absolutely central to my experience as a music lover in the late ‘70s/early-mid 1980s, that I somehow want to give credit to both of them, and that’s where I want to leave it.  However, in the back of my head, I think it was probably Jim.

Right around New Years, I was in my grim and almost Scorcesian apartment on Eldridge Street when I got a phone call.  I imagine the phone being blue, though perhaps it was beige.  As I picked up the phone, I recall I was looking out the window, a filthy, mottled window that made the already gutter-water tepid view looking East down Houston Street appear even grayer, if that’s was possible; the world through that window, especially on a winter day, was colored school locker room dead-eye blue, a concrete city underneath a newsprint-colored sky.

Such was the East Village in 1983.

On the other end of the line was a fellow who ran Rough Trade, the Smith’s label.

I am not going to disclose his name (though I’m not entirely sure why).  By late 1983, I had been a journalist for nearly five years, and a fairly prominent one for about three years.  I had dealt with this fellow before, always cordially.

At the time I picked up the phone call, I was at an odd and particularly dark period in my life.  Literally just days earlier I had returned from my first-ever tour as a musician, a four-week jaunt with the Glenn Branca Ensemble.  It was a riotously brilliant time on stage and off; to sit in the midst of Glenn’s incredible, original, seismic music was an experience as a participant and as a listener that cannot be adequately described, nor equaled.  It was a beautiful earthquake every night, as the floors shook and the bass lifted you off the ground, your ears hearing unimaginable saints and sinners and dog whistles and 747s.  Offstage, well, I was 21 and I had a freaking great time.  Returning back to Eldridge Street, and a virtually Dickensian shabby room that my great friend Jack Rabid had made available to me at a ridiculously low cost, was an enormous, deadening let-down.

Where was I?

It was late December, 1983, I was sad, missing the road and general and specific romances associated with it, and the head of Rough Trade was on the phone.

“Now, listen, Tim,” he who shall not be named said.  “You know the Smiths are in town, and all the boys are going out and having fun, but Morrissey won’t leave the room.  I really think the two of you would get along.  Why don’t you pop up to the Iroquois and keep him company?”

This request, in and of itself, was not so very odd; on any number of occasions before I had been summoned to hang out with visiting British musicians because a manager, publicist, or mutual friend thought we might enjoy each other.  Roddy Frame, Billy Idol, Jim Kerr from Simple Minds, in just the last year prior to this incident, I had been called to one hotel or another – usually the Iroquois or the Gramercy Park – just to have a drink, go for a walk, or see a movie.

But this felt, well, different.  There was a tone in Mr. Rough Trade’s voice, or maybe I was just reading into it; I also didn’t know this fellow (the Rough Trade guy) all that well, so it seemed odd that he would reach out specifically to me.

It instantly occurred to me that Mr. Rough Trade had called me because he may have heard a rumor that I had been intimately involved with another young, male, artistic, enigmatic lead singer; perhaps he figured that, well, I might be game for another one.  Now is not the place to discuss or dissect why Mr. Rough Trade (a nice guy, by the way, none of this is meant to be critical of him) had these suspicions, or if these suspicions were correct.  Around that time, in fact since landing in New York City four years earlier — I was occasionally asked if I was gay.  When questioned, I would always try to remember a model set by Charlie Chaplin, of all people.  See, at the height of his success in the 1920s, there was (more than) a fair amount of Anti-Semitism around, and a good many people thought Chaplin was Jewish, and usually this was discussed in a somewhat accusing manner. Whenever Chaplin was asked if he was Jewish, he would NEVER deny it — he said that to deny being Jewish was to appease and align with the Anti-Semites, because announcing that you weren’t Jewish was the same as agreeing there was something wrong with it (for the record, Chaplin was not Jewish – his half-brother Sydney, who was his manager and closest companion throughout his life, was Jewish, however, and this is likely where the public confusion started).  So, to a degree, I consciously attempted to model Chaplin’s attitude whenever anyone indicated or inquired if I was gay.

I don’t quite know why – perhaps I felt some small offense regarding the idea that because I may have been involved with one musician I might engage with another – more likely, I was waiting for a phone call from someone I had a thing for — but I politely declined the offer.

(I think it was the latter, by the way.  I specifically remember the object of my affection  was a very erratic caller, in fact if memory serves they didn’t even own a phone, so phone calls were rare and scheduled in advance and involved the local hippie restaurant near where they lived being open and the phone being available.)

Anyone who says they regret nothing in their lives is a fucking liar.

Layne, I’m as sorry as you are.

Finally, did you know that Cap’n Crunch’s full name is Horatio Magellan CrunchSeriously.  And now that I know that, for some reason I cannot get out of my head the concept of (the film) Captain Phillips being re-made with Captain H. M. Crunch in the titular role.  Because that would have changed everything.  If those Somali pirates had boarded that goddamn boat and encountered that squat, pop-eyed, Leno-jawed thing, they would have just jumped overboard screaming and rapidly intoning the name of whatever god they worship. No hijack, no violence, end of fucking story, my friend.  That’s a film I want to see.

 

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The Unbearable Lightness of Being Vini Reilly

August 5, 2014

Sometimes – so very rarely – a piece of music journalism is exactly right; it reveals something new about an artist you already know is extraordinary, it makes you aware of a quality in their music that you had not been conscious of before, it makes you more engaged in the artist as a human and as a musician, and it compels you to revisit their work, from fresh directions.

I’m a little late on this, but about six months ago, Julie Hamill (who produces a website dedicated solely to “Interviews Celebrating the Work of Morrissey”) did a remarkable piece on Vini Reilly, the leader/conceptualist/guitarist of the band The Durutti Column; his work is relevant to Ms. Hamill’s line of interest because Reilly was also the guitarist on Morrissey’s landmark first solo album, Viva Hate.

First, a few words on Reilly, who I mentioned briefly last week, when I placed “Otis” by the Durutti Column in my all-time top ten:

Reilly is nothing less than the Brian Eno of the guitar, someone who redesigned and redefined the instrument in order to create stunning, stately, echoing, melodic, wide-screen music that emerged in the punk era, but had far more to do with Satie than Sex Pistols, even if it shocked…albeit softly.  Everyone who has ever picked up a guitar – or any instrument, for that matter – will, for a few seconds (or minutes) imagine a place where their instrument creates pure air; and then maybe something strange and beautiful happens for a few seconds, and the originality stuns, maybe we smile or giggle, and then, for one fleeting minute, we imagine, while holding the instrument, “What if that was enough? Wouldn’t this moment of starlight and tears and near-silence be enough?”  But then (most of us) we dismiss the excursion as an accident of tuning-up and go back to rewriting “Smoke on the Water.”

Reilly found that place, stayed in it, perfected it, planted his flag on it, claimed it as his own country, became its’ king; The King of Sighs, the King of the End-of-the-Day Echo, the King of the Rainy Sunday Cinematic Sonnet. A vastly original musician, Reilly’s territory was later colonized by musicians like The Edge and Michael Brook, who perhaps gained wider recognition, but never equaled Reilly’s grace and his abilities to capture loneliness, dusk, the tiny frisson of hope in a late-night pink sky and telepath it via an electric guitar.

It is also noteworthy – very noteworthy for those who follow the subtle shifts in shading as the punk rock’s loud night transformed into the more scenic and spacious dawn of post-punk – the Durutti Column were the very first band ever released on Manchester’s legendary Factory label; and it is impossible to even lightly consider the evolution of post-punk and the Manchester scene without considering the enormous role the remarkable Durutti Column played in birthing and defining both that scene and the whole course of post punk; like Public Image alongside and after them, Durutti Column set off bombs of space and deeply intense emptiness in the formidably solid sheet of punk’s wall of sound.  Not only did this approach greatly shape the thinking of bands like Joy Division (and subsequently New Order), A Certain Ratio, and many others, but it clearly and unfuckingdeniably made a rather huge impression on U2.

Hamill’s interview – which I just stumbled on last week – does something remarkable:  she has encouraged an eccentric and mysterious artist to reveal deep truths about himself, allowing us, the reader/listener, not only to get to know someone as we’ve never really known him, but also to apply new revelations into his already multi-faceted music.

I don’t know how Hamill did this – I don’t know her – but her interview reveals Reilly to be a deeply troubled, almost tragic figure; recently, Reilly has been hobbled by three strokes that not only prevent him from playing guitar, but make the most elementary aspects of living challenging; he also reveals a deeply dark past, full of violence, self-hatred, suicide attempts, a rather stunning lack of confidence in his astonishing skills, and depression (ands more recently extreme, and I do mean extreme,  financial struggle).  With Hamill’s assistance, Reilly connects all these struggles to his music and his process. Oddly, Hamill seems to bring out playfulness in famously dour Reilly, almost as if his recent extraordinary trials have given his life certain buoyancy.  Reilly even uses the interview as a platform to reach out and make amends to producer Stephen Street, who helmed Morrissey’s Viva Hate album, who Reilly feels he mistakenly wronged during one of his angry periods.

(I should also note, parenthetically of course, that my band Hugo Largo had the honor of playing with Durutti Column twice – once at the Bottom Line in New York City in 1987, and again at the Cambridge Theatre in London in 1988.  On neither time did I exchange any meaningful conversation with Reilly, who seemed so drastically thin, pale, and frightening as to appear virtually spectral.)

I suspect there are three massively important things a music journalist can achieve:  make you deeply interested in the work of an artist you are not familiar with, provide knowledge regarding an artist you already are interested in, or create deep and emotionally rich insight into an artist you never thought you would have a window into.  Hamill does the latter, and does it very well.  Even someone who doesn’t care about Reilly or the Durutti Column will be moved by this piece, and care about this profound, flawed, emotionally vulnerable, tragic, and magically talented person after reading this interview.

Here’s a link to this excellent interview.

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Existential Stuff, Music, News, poetry

Market Correction

August 4, 2014

Born of punk rock’s rough and red womb, weaned at the rubbery leatherette teat of punk rock, wiped and diapered by wet-nurse punk rock, grim and fishnet’d;

Schooled on the linoleum floors and bleach-stink’d hallways of Punk Rock School, boiled in her Canal Street lunchrooms, bullied on her Bowery playgrounds and first-time fellated in punk rock’s crumbling old ballrooms;

First job’d in her flyer-flooded cubicles and first-fired while slashed on acid in her briny toilets; re-hired in narrow punk rock stairways leading up to low-ceiling’d Park Avenue South shrines and fired again in 2 AM Tompkins Square Punk Rock parks lit by lights yellow’d and joyless, casting squinting shade over our shadowed, Holiday high’d punk rock heads;

Aging fast, as punk rock pipe-glass crisply cracked underneath creeper’d feet in Eldridge Street punk rock doorways smelling of piss and hash; punk rock trash’d and shellacked as the ’80s turned arty but still at a screaming Birthday Party.

Born in ’76 a fully sentient infant knowing of no other language but punk rock, we believed, believed, believed, believed, through metal eras/errors and swelling bellies and punk rock babies and the shabby crow of nostalgia, replaced by the happy glow of nostalgia for punk rock, punk rock, punk rock; and we had to believe, because without belief we believed we would vanished; even as we strolled with put-on pride on the deck of our mid-life Titanic, clutching deflated life-vests labeled with the lie 50isthenew40 and 60isthenew50 and so on, denying that we were finally our own sad dads, we had to believe in our punk rock, we had to believe we had witnessed Trinity in the 2nd Avenue Desert, we had to be able to boast that we were there

We were there!

We were there (and not you),

so we shrieked, coughing from 30 years of Camels and Canal Street exhaust, exhausted were we but still we were there at the Zero Hour in the Lower Manhattan Project, our bar chord sun was brighter than a thousand others!

Of course, it was all a lie, I mean not a mean one, I mean not a bad one. See, we all ache for the wheel to be reinvented, it is essential to our myth that our lives, our time, our era is more important than anyone else’s; so every grown-fast suburb-sick teen calls their age 18 Year Zero, and it’s true, every newly free (eight)teen is the pilot of the Enola Gay (or just curious), every newly free eight(teen) feels  Shiva-rock was unleashed for them and them alone; and, necessarily, we believe not in Mendel’s Peas but in Eve’s Apple: we alone discovered sin, we alone discovered lust and drugs and girl drummers and dive bars.

Who wants to admit that they are just another consumer, subject to just another market correction?

We, The Sentient Babies of ’76, did not know that to every wide-eyed and wide-lipped teenish, their time under the heatless city moon is the hottest time under the heatless city moon:

See, every teenager is Vicodin’d Columbus discovering the Kingdom of Outsiders and the Kingdom of Night-Rockers, every teenager is their own and only Vasco de Gabba-Gabba-Hey, sailing their ship around the Cape of Godless & Horny and sighting natives underneath the Manhattan Bridge; every teenager of any era believes that the lowscrapers and old polish rooms and new model barrios were built only for them to discover and colonize, and that they are the only midnight children with a life so bright and sweetly dark and too fast and full of love crouched in cabs (and every single one of them doomed one day to be they).  But anyway –

We, the sentient babies of ’76 (and ’82, and ’80, and ’84) believe that we came upon St. Marks’ Place a midnight dreary and we invented the wheel.

But we didn’t. So appalled were we, Watergate cynical an’ lonely an’ dreaming of Loud and Kinks, each of us made so lonely by the High School hallways full of blown-dry boys and Peasant-Blous’d foxes on the run humming Dust in the Wind, so distressed and shut out by Saturday Night Fever were we that we saw 1976 and insisted it was 1776.

We wanted to believe we were part of a revolution, but it was only a market correction, alas, at last.

The frippery of the second half of the ‘60s and the slow burn solocides of the ‘70s left the Teen Soundtrack corrupt, lousy with wilted flowers, sodden with sitars and sibilant horns and shitty songs about money and the suede-vested high-life; so we shot at the Tsar (but only damaged his car), and we wanted Stalin (but only got the New Deal), we wanted revolution but all we got was a Market Correction, layers of winter clothes and Commander Cody hair left on the dorm room floor and pissy fringes given away to Love Saves The Day.

The lie was that it was revolution, it was just evolution,

I mean, so thrilling it was, it was our lives, our lives, but just a market correction.

One of many.

But this was actually as it was supposed to be.

We, the newly-free grown-fast children of suburb-sick, eternal, never aging, regenerating always and forever, never crossed the same East River twice; and we would not recognize the next incarnation, and nor would we be young for it; and we did not want to admit that no river that ever slashed through the Kingdom of Outsiders ever stopped flowing just for us. No river in any city, Camden Town to Chapel Hill, Aylesbury to Athens, Brighton to Brookyn to Brookline, ever halted its inexorable, inevitable, and majestic march from the continental divide to the sea; no river stopped and proclaimed that we were the only colonists in the Kingdom of Outsiders.  See, we were tourists, for a while happy tourists, replaced by the next army of the newly-free grown-fast children of suburb-sick.

Perpetually replaced by new seekers of the eternal chord,
Nourished at the maternal breast
of the evolving punk rock mother
who stroked the hair, dyed and knotted and fair, of every new incarnation of eternal seekers of egg creams and 4 AM plates of French Fries.
And this mother calls us by one of our 108 names,
And each of the named is convinced that they invented the wheel,
and that the echoes of their name will fill the chiliochosm,
Each one certain that they are the only janitors of lunacy.
But each is only a version of the other,
each one is loud and artful and beautiful,
Part of a collection of one trillion solar systems,
each positive that the universe exists for them alone,
and that they alone invented sex and open tuning and late-night trips to Wo Hop.

And we embrace the moving river, and we say
Hey Ho Let’s Go, go, go
Gone, gone, gone beyond, gone completely beyond, enlightenment.

Long live evolution.

 

(For Jahn Xavier, Jack Rabid, and Michael Alago)

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Happy Birthday, MTV!…plus, Stoner Metal!

August 1, 2014

MTV is 33 years old today. If you’re under 30, you likely have no identification of that brand name with a format/object that not only presented new music, but was, for many years, this countries primary source for new music. For at least 15 years, MTV was America’s radio station, an idea that had not previously existed (it now seems a bit more common due to the accessibility of satellite radio, but it really was a true game changer at the time).


MTV’S DEBUT, 33 YEARS AGO TODAY

Though there were certainly negatives that came with this – a generalized repression of regionalism and resultant conformity in the countries musical tastes, and an industry wide attitude that country music did not matter nearly as much as it in fact did – without any doubt, 8/1/81 is one of the key “before and after” markers in the last sixty years of music history. Nothing was ever the same after the introduction of Music Video as the primary outlet for the promotion and dispersal of new music; only very recently have the startling changes made by the birth of MTV been re-addressed, with the onset of the Age Of Plurality caused by downloading and streaming and the now-taken for granted concept of music being essentially free and actually everywhere. In other words, it took one revolution of accessibility to diminish and displace the impact of a prior one.

Rather than speak either intellectually, culturally, or analytically about the repercussions of 8/1/81, I want to say a few words from a purely personal perspective.

I began working at MTV in the fall of 1983. I was 21, and The Network was just over two years old, though it still had the “feel” of a very new and developing place. I was hired to work in the newly-fashioned Music News department. We were a small group, made up almost entirely of music critics of some note and our leader was a college DJ/Television Producer type who was, in fact, the person in the department closest to my age. His name was Doug Herzog, and he was a witty, demanding, cuddly, college radio geek and reggaephile, and he put up with an unbelievable amount of shit from me, yet resisted what surely must have been constant temptation to fire me. I played pranks – usually involving elaborately planned fake inter-office memos and extensive distribution of pictures where I replaced the faces of co-workers and rock-stars with the image of freakish child star Mason Reese – and made a lot of noise. I also worked very hard, usually to 7:30 or so every night. Doug was pretty much the best boss I ever had, and I want to honor that. He’s gone on to some really good things (he is currently President of Comedy Central), so his success has equaled his kindness.

At the time, the Network was still so (relatively) under-the-radar that the cable system that served our midtown-Manhattan office did not yet carry MTV. We only saw the channel via an in-house system that played ¾-inch videotapes of channel airchecks.

It felt a little like the Wild West, and it was.

There will probably come a time when I detail my experiences at MTV (I worked there from late ’83 to very early ’87, and again from ’89 to ’91) in greater and sexier depth that honors the ridiculousness and excitement of the experience, but for now I just want to note some of the really amazing people I worked with. Originally, Merle Ginsberg, Stuart Cohn, and Michael Shore were the only other news writers, and Merle and Stuart are the ones who bought me in. I can never thank them enough for that, and Merle has really gone on to the pinnacle of her profession, becoming one of America’s leading commentators on fashion and entertainment. Let me also say that I have especially fond memories of the two of the (original) VJs, Martha Quinn and Alan Hunter, neither of whom ever acted, for one moment, like this incredible rush of attention was going to their head. Martha, as you might recall from earlier columns, was an old friend of mine from Weinstein Dorm, and I should mention another friend from Weinstein – John Norris – who eventually also joined the news department as a writer, and with whom I shared a desk for a few years. John was delightful and funny and sweet and the most easily appalled person I’ve ever met.

There were, of course, plenty of non-Weinstein people who worked at MTV in the early years, and most of these people had gone to Emerson. It really was an NYU/Emerson Mafia there.

I know this incomplete, mawkish memory is unusually insubstantial and atrocity-free for me and this column, and this tale will surely be amended in the future, perhaps shortly; I really just wanted to take a second to honor the rather massive and culture-altering undertaking that was MTV, and to note that in the beginning, it was pretty much just music, TV, and film geeks making it up as we went along, and despite any effect it had on the culture, or our own occasional snobbish distance from the music the Network played, I am extremely proud of having been there (near) the beginning, and the people I went on that ride with were almost universally massively sweet, and I am deeply sorry I can’t name all of them…Nili, Kathleen, Dugan, Carol, Gus, Rick, Rhonda, Sue, Tabitha, Lou, Patti, Jane, Nina, Gil, Lois, Amy, Kian, Meredith, Norman…and there are so many more, and I only wish I could honor everyone of these colleagues and friends, and read this list in a voice that sounded exactly George Takei or perhaps Mandy Patinkin.

NEXT. I was truly startled this week to see a new track from the legendary stoner metal band Sleep, released via the Adult Swim Singles website. It’s called “The Clarity” and it’s the band’s first release since 2003’s Dopesmoker (which in turn was just a purification of the slightly-abridged Jerusalem album, released back in the ‘90s). Now, why is this big news?

Well, Dopesmoker is the best album of the last 20 years, that’s why. I mean in my opinion. Dopesmoker is comprised of one 63-minute song, which grinds with grim, slabby, tough, turgid, brittle and bass-centric determination through great waves of thrilling and hypnotic sound. Like PiL’s Second Edition, or the work of Neu! (discussed in this column on Tuesday), this album says “Fuck it!” to all previously existing concepts of the way things “should” be done; and since it is not merely enough to flaunt invention, on Dopesmoker Sleep then follow through with an aesthetically magical result. Dopesmoker is the natural conclusion of where metal was heading ever since Sabbath, Purple, Mountain, Cactus, Cream and Hendrix began stirring the great Golem of the genre into action; it is endless, endlessly rewarding metal, metal, metal, metal, the sound of a hundred and eight cars dragging their mufflers in happy unison for one very fucked-up hour, all while the sub-woofers in those 108 cars played Gabriel’s Bass signaling the End of the Fucking Musical World. Dopesmoker is THAT good, and an essential record.

(By the way, I’ve alluded to The Golem before; does everyone know I am talking about the mythical killing-machine monster of Jewish folklore, and not the similarly named character from The Lord of the Fucking Rings?)

After the extreme achievement of that masterpiece, the band’s new track, “The Clarity,” is, well, a disappointment. It’s okay — actually a good deal more than okay — for over 9 minutes it chugs along with metronomic shards of slow riffs, sounding a bit like Hawkwind channeling Sabbath, but it lacks the majesty, the intent, the brilliance of concept and realization of Dopesmoker. Having said all that, it’s well worth getting, but for the makers of the Abbey Road of Metal to come out with, well, the equivalent of “Polyethylene Pam” is, naturally, a bit of a let down.

NEXT. I have recognized that Dave Grohl’s head is far too large for his body, and this makes him look like a Muppet.


(Seriously, hydrocephalics in jars in Philadelphia’s Mutter Museum have a more appropriate head-to-body ratio; Andre The Giant, on the night in 1982 he won a prize at costume party at Roddy Piper’s house by donning a Rondo Hatton mask, had a smaller head; German actor/director Paul Wegener, when he starred in 1922’s Der Golem-ähnliche Tier mit den unglaublich Enorme Leiter [The Golem-like Beast With the Incredibly Enormous Head] had a smaller head)

FINALLY. Porcupine Tree is better than Radiohead. When you’re sitting there with headphones on pretending to like Radiohead, you could just switch over to Porcupine Tree and actually like them.

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News

The Honeymooners, Professor Irwin Corey, and more idiocy at The New York Times — what more could you ask for?

July 31, 2014

This past Tuesday was the 100th Birthday of (the still very much alive) Professor Irwin Corey, a true artist, a man who brought the most wonderful and extreme forms of Dada to the masses via the most unlikely means. He is an inspiration to all lovers of nonsense and all people who aspire to use the mainstream to spread the extreme.

Long before people like Andy Kaufman tested the conceptual limits of comedy, Corey was applying radical and esoteric artistic, literary, and theatrical techniques to comedy performed in very conventional American venues, producing work that had more in common with Tristan Tzara and Beckett than Crosby and Hope.  One of the pinnacles of Corey’s career (and the story of Dada in America) came on April 18, 1974 at New York’s Alice Tully Hall, when Thomas Pynchon won the National Book Award for Gravity’s Rainbow.  Much to the audiences’ extraordinary confusion, Corey accepted the award on behalf of the reclusive Pynchon, delivering one of his trademark exhibitions of double-talk and stunning nonsense to an utterly confused crowd.

If I were dispensing Kennedy Center Honors, or some suchlike malarkey, one would surely go to Professor Irwin Corey.  In fact, I am hereby creating The Noise Center Honors, and the FIRST recipient is The World’s Foremost Authority (as he dubs himself), Professor Irwin Corey.

NEXT.  I haven’t picked on the New York Times in a while, and I don’t want to make that a habit (not picking on the New York Times, that is).  In an article in Sunday’s paper titled “Sure You Loved Lucy, But Vintage Has It’s Limits,” writer Neil Genzlinger displayed a truly extraordinary ignorance regarding the meat, text, and subtext of a few of America’s best-loved sitcoms.

Here’s what he wrote about The Honeymooners:  “Couples defined by screaming seem more sad than funny today.”

OKAY.  Ahem.  AHEM.  Dismissing the GENIUS of The Honeymooners, that chiaroscuro monument to dreams, disappointment and resilience, as merely “couples defined by screaming” is obscene, the equivalent (seriously) of dismissing Citizen Kane as “Badly-defined reporter goes on a long quest without finding an answer.”  ALL of America’s midcentury hopes – the slow crawl up to lower-middle class and the frequently futile dreams of reaching a higher rung on the ladder, the rapidly shifting balance of power between the sexes and the struggle to redefine a working marriage — all of it captured in the new medium that would define the second half of the century – are present in the extraordinary Classic 39, and it’s all performed by the greatest comic ensemble ever assembled on a Television soundstage.  Jesus H. Morrissey, how long was that sentence?  Mr. Genzlinger, I am sure you are a perfectly decent fellow, but if Ulysses can still be in print, if Mean Streets can still be available on Netflix, the same privilege can be extended to the treasure known as The Honeymooners.  It is not just some tired vintage bit of over-played nostalgia (as you imply) but the pinnacle of its’ genre, and a true fucking American classic.  P.S., Mr. Genzlinger, you are a moron.  Did I just call you a moron?  Why, yes, I did.  In fact, I did it in a “Tom Carvel” voice just to amuse myself, but you wouldn’t know that, because you can’t hear me.

Oh, and The Classic 39 is a pretty good band name, or a GREAT name for a Greatest Hits album (provided that album has 39 tracks).

Further evidence of Genzlinger’s wrong-headedness is presented in his assessment, in the same venal, pointless article, of Green Acres.  Genzlinger wrote, “Speaking of stereotypes, there was this empty-headed series. Along with “The Beverly Hillbillies,” “Gomer Pyle” and a few others, it made sure “rural” and “stupid” would be wrongly linked for years to come.”

Have you ever freaking watched Green Acres, you moron?  (There, I used the “M” word again!  This time I said it in a voice meant to sound like Kelsey Grammer, but to tell you the truth, it came out sounding more like Vin Scully.)  First of all, Green Acres was a parody of those very stereotypes, a very broad and obvious one, too. The show was not meant to propagate these stereotypes; the show was intended to turn them into savage caricatures, broad and ridiculous cartoons meant to underline the very impossibility that such stereotypes could ever actually exist. Did you not, Herr Genzlinger, notice THE FUCKING SENTIENT INTELLIGENT PIG on the show?  In other words, this show had MUCH more in common with, say, Family Guy than it had in common with any attempt by CBS to actually convince viewers that this is what rural America was actually fucking like.  Also (and it is deeply sad that this went over Genzlinger’s head, because it is the most remarkable aspect of Green Acres), the show is full of the kind of surreal, 4th-Wall breaking humor that would not surface on American television again for another decade, with the onset of SNL and Letterman.  It is far, far, far, far, far, so very goddamn far, so very fucking far, from an “empty-headed’ series.  Listen, Genzlinger, I am sure you are a perfectly nice guy but any show that features cast members commenting on the closing credits is certainly operating on a level far above the level you perceived.

God knows what Genzlinger would make of The Mighty Boosh, one of the best comedy shows of this century.  He’d probably say “This show insures that the words ‘gullible’ and ‘English’ will be wrongly linked for years to come.”  Listen, pal, I can almost forgive the wrong-headed Green Acres assessment – if you had only seen an episode or two, you might come to that conclusion, and not recognize the virtually Olsen & Johnson-esque absurdity only barely beneath the surface – but, and I mean this fucking seriously, ANYONE WHO DISMISSES THE SIMPLE, DEEP MAJESTY AND COMPLETENESS OF THE HONEYMOONERS THE WAY HE DID SHOULD NOT BE WRITING ABOUT TELEVISION.  Idiot.  Though I am sure he’s a perfectly nice guy.  Really.

P.S. Porcupine Tree is better than Radiohead.

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Existential Stuff, Music, Opinion

I Suffered for This Top Ten Song List, Now It’s Your Turn

July 30, 2014

Recently, Tim Broun, whom I’ve known since we were both teenagers, asked me to contribute a playlist to his articulate, fascinating, and arcane music blog, STUPEFACTION (http://theworldsamess.blogspot.com/).  This is very flattering, since other people who have been bestowed with this honor include Vini Reilly, Keith Levene, Twink, James Williamson, Hugo Burnham, Andrew Loog Oldham, Viv Albertine, and many etceteras.

Now, when asked to come up with a list like this, there are so many different directions one can go in.

There’s the “I am Going To Impress Everyone With My Oblique and Obscure Knowledge” list; these generally involve the words “Scott 2” or “Scott 3,” but these lists tend to be no-win situations, because no matter how much impressively obscure shit you think you know, there’s always someone out there who knows more (“Wait! This Neanderthal listed ‘Scott 3’ but not ‘Scott 4’?!?”).  There’s the “I am a man of the people and I may run into Dave Marsh at a party list”:  this one will generally includes a lot of Springsteen, Petty, and Fogerty, and this, too, is a no-win proposition, because ultimately liking the same things as Dave Marsh is a completely unrewarding pursuit, and it’s likely you’ll end up having a discussion with someone and having to pretend to like Billy Joel, Green Day, or Paul Simon.   Another approach is the “I am going to impress Layne or another suitably hip 20 year old and reel off ten bands from the last five years, not one of whose complete album I listened to more than twice.”  This, too, is a certain dead-end, because no matter how much people in their 40’s, 50’s, and 60s pretend to care about recent music, to the 20-something you are trying to impress you will always just be someone the same age as their dad.  Finally, there’s the “Lots and Lots of Radiohead” list, and this is perhaps the least rewarding avenue of them all, because a) it has been scientifically proven that anyone who goes on and on about any Radiohead album except for The Bends is just pretending to like it, groaning through every second going “Wow, this sounds like something really really important and I better like it,” and b) anyone who goes on and on about any Radiohead album except for The Bends clearly hasn’t heard Porcupine Tree, who do everything people think Radiohead do a lot better than Radiohead actually do it.

SO, when Tim Broun asked me to put together a list, I decided to be completely, well, honest.  I decided to simply make a list of the songs I would rather listen to more than any other songs.  These aren’t necessarily my favorite bands, nor are these tracks necessarily from my most treasured albums; these are just the ten songs I would rather hear more, and more frequently, than any other.  In other words, if I was going to some mythical desert island and was allowed to take an iPod that could only have ten songs on it, and I had to choose ten songs to listen to the rest of my life and no others, what ten would I pick?

I hope you don’t mind going on this terribly self-indulgent voyage with me, full of all the proselytizing and self-congratulating implied by such lists. Oh, and In point of fact, the list I gave Tim had 30 songs on it, but here’s  just the top ten, along with explanations/justifications:

1.  HALLOGALLO by Neu!  There are a handful of musical moments that have shook my life mightily; sometimes these moments are delineated by the awe and power of rock’n’roll, or it’s enormous potential to evoke emotion from us, even if we are not entirely sure why.  Other times, these landmark moments are triggered when we hear something that announces to us “This is possible; this idea, this way of doing things that you were previously unaware of, now exists.”  Most certainly, both on a personal and cultural level, songs like “Blitzkrieg Bop,” “Waiting for the Man,” and “Gloria” by Patti Smith had this impact on many of us; but no single song ever changed my view of the musically possible more than “Hallogallo,” the opening track on the first Neu! album.  Deeply powerful, meditative, multi-layered but supremely simple, mono-chordal but not mono-chromatic, it announced the extraordinary power, dexterity, variety, and intensity that could be explored – EXPLODED – by an exposition of one chord over a tic-tock-second-hand-simple drum beat.  Patient and impatient, explosive and restrained, , after I heard “Hallogallo,” I never heard anything the same way again.  True. Certainly, other artists had explored maximum minimalism, and how much could be done with such simple parts (I won’t say “how much could be done with so little,” since “Hallogallo” is anything but little) – but no one had done it with such joy, such restraint, such wide-screen reach, such invention, and all without ever reaching a climax – the song threatens to take off, but never quite does – thereby implying infinity.

2.  KNOW YOUR PRODUCT by The Saints.  By 1977, the Saints, possibly the first modern punk rock band (I will explain this claim and the research that supports it at another time), had one extraordinary album under their belt, blending the roaring guitars of the Stooges, the simple rhythms of the ‘60s Beat bands, and a deep, tearing soul that had more to do with Van Morrison than Johnny Rotten.  “Know Your Product” was the first single off their second album, and it brought it all together with the almost mystically-inspired notion of adding fat, melodic, punching Stax horns to the punk rock template.  The result was (in my opinion) the best pure rock 45 of the last forty years, and likely punk’s pinnacle non-Ramones moment.  Joy, joy, joy, INSANE hooky horns, and one of punk’s very best vocalists, all tearing the roof down.  YES.

3.  DOT DASH by Wire.  Recently, I yammered on in this column about “flawless” albums, and I mentioned that Wire’s debut album, Pink Flag,  came very, very close to being one of these.  In fact, it’s my opinion that the first three Wire albums are the best consecutive “run” of albums in the last forty years (but that’s another story).  “Dot Dash” was released as a 45 between the text-driven hissing frenzy of Pink Flag and the radioactive whirrs of Wire’s second album, the brilliant Chairs Missing (it is included on some reissues of the latter; an abomination that disrupts the artists’ original intentions, but that, too, is another story).  To me, the extremely hummable, brittle but sugary “Dot Dash” is what Television could have sounded like if they weren’t so hung up on jazz scales and appearing “smart,” but instead just played deeply from the heart and made it up as it came to them.  It is a smart, shifty, eternal song, somehow both of the desert and of the city, and it’s one of the greatest singles of all time.

4.  THE LONELY SURFER by Jack Nitzsche.  A majestic, glowing instrumental, the perfect theme to the most monumental movie about the Twang That Knows No End, from the era when a 6-string Fender baritone guitar could signal the dawn of the age of enlightenment and the stirring, full-bodied, cinematic orchestral arrangement, full of soaring unison strings, could herald the most perfect pink sunset on the very same radiant day.  In fact, the whole album this comes from is essential, what the Shadows would have sounded like if they were dosed with acid and locked in a drive-in playing Westerns starring Jesus Christ.   Speaking of which…

5.  THEME FROM A SUMMER PLACE by Percy Faith.  The “Easy Listening” High Lamas of the 1960s knew their shit; this pulsing, soaring, insanely melodic endless delight of strings and memory paved the way for Pet Sounds and the godly excesses of Scott Walker, and if there’s a more instantly evocative and moving melody in the realm of modern-ish music, I haven’t heard it.  I mean there is nothing wrong with this song.  It works for the hipster and the supermarket stroller and the delivery room and the graveside.  It is loud Sensurround teardrops, every shade of the heart in music form.

6.  OTIS by Durutti Column.  Yes, another instrumental!  In fact, there are five of them in my top ten.  Simple, original, sighing, deep, laden with space but utterly full, “Otis” is the work of the most underrated guitarist of his time, Vini Reilly, who produces something subtle without being soft, delicate while still being deeply punk rock, presaging new age without being asinine; this song is full of air but held to the earth by the singing, sinewy, echoing guitar that so deeply influenced the Edge and Michael Brook, but which neither of those players ever coalesced into such a single, perfect song.

7.  ALBATROSS by Fleetwood Mac.  Uh-huh.  The fifth and final instrumental.  A perfect heartbeat captured in the studio, a dream-like pulse and a late-night/early morning melody, barely there but just firm enough; unlike the earlier cited instrumentals, this one is both gossamer-transparent and the most rock’n’roll of all of ‘em. “Quiet” rock is virtually invented right here, care of one of the greatest guitarists of all time, Peter Green, here translating his deepest hopes and woes into an almost invisible melodic trail of tears and resolve, over the incredibly simple, unwavering, almost PiL-like support of McVie and Fleetwood.  Oh, the Beatles “borrowed” this song and it’s feel, almost without alteration, for “Sun King” on the Abbey Road album, and I still don’t understand why Green and the Mac didn’t sue the Fabs back into the old, cold cellars of Liverpool.

8.  CHEREE by ? and the Mysterians.  Yes, it’s a cover, but what an original, stunning record.  There’s a promise rock’n’roll once made, a promise made by Hardrock Gunther and Johnny Burnette and even Sun Elvis, a promise that rock’n’roll was going to be a shivering, shimmery mystery, full of dark woods, deep swamps, and highways disappearing into a hazy distance; “Cheree” fulfills this promise, as no other record does.

9.  Memphis Egypt by THE MEKONS.  Now, you may recall I wrote a whole column about this one song at an earlier date; suffice it to say that an entire generation of punk rock reaches it’s apogee with this roaring, soaring song, full of Footie-anthem-friendly collapsing riffs and layers of Pistolian/Ralphian guitars; and only in the fullest realization of a genre – in this case, punk – can that whole generation be revealed (via the lyrics) as being full of charlatans and liars, constant repeaters of a beautiful promise that no one ever planned to keep.  Oh, by “Ralphian,” I am alluding to Mick Ralphs, because that is a gentleman with a good, greasy punk rock guitar sound.

10.  RAMONES (full album), by The Ramones.  Because, it is (as I have discussed earlier) one of the only two perfect albums ever made, and because it is a rush of roaring joy from first second to last, and because it is the highest art that rock music can ever achieve yet it never insists on itself as art, and because it is the revolution that never was revolting, and because it’s everything that was wonderful about the dumbest melody you ever heard and the loudest pure bar chord you ever heard, and because nothing about any aspect of it’s performance or production obscures for one tiny second it’s mission to set off the H-Bomb without harming a soul.

Now, as for the rest of the list — that’s 11 (“Mongoose” by Fu Manchu through 30 (“Orinoco Flow” by Enya) — you’ll just have to go to Tim Broun’s website.

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Books, Existential Stuff, History, Opinion

Books, Race, and Other Things I admit I Know Very Little About

July 29, 2014

I can imagine little more challenging than writing about the experience of being black in America if you are not black.  I don’t think it’s possible to write or think about race unless you admit what you don’t know (which is nearly everything), and then use that as a starting point.

I feel it’s sort of like 9/11: I have long said that the only people who really have the right to talk about what that gruesome day actually felt like are the people who were in New York City.  Everyone else was just a spectator, not subject to the riot of conflicting emotions, anger, and fear that the residents of New York actually experienced on that day.  Others may be able to write about why 9/11 happened, or the geo-political events that may have precipitated it or resulted from it, but New Yorkers, and only New Yorkers, can tell me what 9/11 felt like.

And I think the very same is true of anyone trying to write about race in America.  Academics can analyze it effectively from historical and economic perspectives, and can tell the story of the how and the why, but how could a non-African American writer, even a great one, tell us what it feels like to be black in America?

The idea that any white American could pretend to understand or empathize with the experience of being black in America (especially the experience of being an African American descended from slaves) is absurd and insulting.  The moral obscenity of slavery, underlined by the crime of the institutionalized and authorized failure of reconstruction, created an obscene, permanent underclass in America (N.B.:  When discussing the crime of racial inequality and oppression, the failure of Reconstruction is far too frequently left out of the dialogue; in theory, after the Civil War Reconstruction was supposed to ease the transition to a more racially balanced American South; however, flawed by corruption from the very beginning, any attempt at Reconstruction collapsed following the absurd, monumental Presidential election of 1876, when Democrat Samuel Tilden beat Republican Rutherford B. Hayes.  The Hayes/Tilden election is one of the most important moments in American history, and it should TOTALLY be a required part of our curricula, but that’s another story, huh?  Anyway, after Tilden’s victory, the South – then firmly the undisputed land of the Democrats – agreed to allow Hayes and the Republicans to “steal” the election, in exchange for the end of Reconstruction.  In essence, the Civil War didn’t really end until the mid-1960s, when President Lyndon Johnson finally and formally used legislation to address the more blatant inequalities that had been, essentially, legalized since the Emancipation 100 years earlier.  And here I will further note if it wasn’t for his murderous blunders in Vietnam, LBJ would have – should have – gone down as one of our greatest Presidents; he ended the fucking Civil War).

Where Was I?

White people know nothing of the Black experience, not only of the more obvious dirty looks and police oppression, but the inevitability of horrific Inner City schools and unequal job opportunities; I address these atrocities only in the most general terms, because I am far from an authority on this crime, the second worst abomination in the story of our continent (the first, obviously, being the complete annihilation and disenfranchisement of the indigenous population of our section of North America).

So, unless approached from a purely academic point of view (and I will have to ask my friend Paul Sherman, a great and exhaustive reader of tracts on race in America for a reading list), it is extraordinarily rare to read books where white people write, with real empathy, meaning, and impact, about the black experience.

I can think of two examples, both of which I highly recommend (Finally, the gist of this column!).  I’m a little late on both of these, by the way; though neither of them are archival, neither are exactly new, either; but just give me a pass on that, okay?  Anyway, both these authors recognize that a Caucasian cannot write about the black experience without part of the story being that very inability.

Josh Alan Friedman’s autobiographical novel Black Cracker (2010) is a deeply moving, deeply funny, deeply tragic, and absolutely unique tale, so well executed and so full of extraordinary social ironies and tragedies that it is both difficult to read and difficult to put down.  Due to some very unique circumstances (i.e., local experiments in integration coupled with very well-intended liberal parents who wanted to put their money where their mouth is), in the early/middish 1960s in Glen Cove, Long Island, (very) young Josh was the only white child in an all-black elementary school; subsequently, he found himself caught between many different social, economic, cultural, and historical worlds, and not just the obvious ones.  The black children at his school didn’t fully embrace him (and when they tried, their families rejected him, with occasionally horrific results); the local white children rejected him, violently, for his ties to the blacks; and everyone was a little suspicious of his long hair and love of the newly arrived Beatles.  All of adolescent’s “normal” signposts are covered in this fleet, deep, gorgeous book, but they’re all set topsy-turvy against the absurd and frequently dangerous environment young, innocent Josh is thrust into. Black Cracker hits so many raw nerves in the story of race in America that at times one literally has to put it down out of fear; likewise, Friedman successfully conveys the feeling he had every day, akin to walking through a busy six-lane highway carrying an enormous pane of glass, that pane made up of all the history, anger, resentment, and longing that young Josh never asked for, but found himself the loci of.  A joyous, terrifying book.

(I also must note that Josh Alan Friedman is the author of Tales of Times Square, which is literally one of the ten ESSENTIAL books ever written about New York City.  No library of books about New York City is complete without Tales of Times Square, and it is likely no library of books on race in America in the 1960s is complete without Black Cracker.) 

Next…

Our generation has been chock full of people trying to assimilate elements of African American music, art, culture, and language into their own, while simultaneously trying to hold on to (what I will refer to) as the “privileges” of being white.  Which is all to say you can dress like a Beastie Boy all you want; you still won’t ever remotely know what it is like to spend (literally) 5 minutes as a black man in America.  You know, in this weekend’s Times, I read an interview with some young actress in which she whined, at great length, that her life had been oh-so-hard because some people at Horace Mann had called her ugly; seriously, she was talking about this like she was telling the story of Anne Fucking Frank.  Now, let her IMAGINE that she was at one of the nightmare-crates masquerading as a high school in Inner City New Orleans in the 1990s, crumbling shit-holes so dismal that the valedictorian couldn’t even pass the standard GED, and someone calls her ugly THERE.  Yeah, it hurts to be bullied at Horace Mann or Fieldston or Ramaz, I’m sure it does, BUT IMAGINE SPENDING ONE SECOND BEING BULLIED AT A PLACE THAT ISN’T FUCKING HORACE MANN.

Anyway.  Where Was I?

Nik Cohn’s Triksta: Life and Death and New Orleans Rap (2009) is, without exception, the best thing I have ever read about the absolute inability of a white person to ever fully understand and be part of the world of the disenfranchised, African American poor, despite their best intentions.  Cohn – I will explain a little of his extraordinary history shortly – found himself living in New Orleans in the years before Katrina, a town where the “right side of the tracks” and “the wrong side of the tracks” are often indistinguishable.  He soon found himself mentoring, befriending, and attempting to quasi-manage some of the city’s up-and-coming rap acts, and becoming very immersed in the singular social world of New Orleans’ rap.  He ends up not just telling the story of a vibrant and original rap scene, but of a city deeply disenfranchised from mainstream America, where the stains of slavery, failed reconstruction, and federal disregard for a city that is largely defined by its’ low-income people of color runs deep, hard, and ruinous.  And ultimately, Cohn’s awareness that he will never fully understand the native African American experience, even as he tries to empathize with it and truly holds its’ culture in regard, becomes a huge part of the story.

One cannot follow contemporary American culture for the last half century without being aware of the assimilation of African American cultural memes by White America.  It is an essential (if largely unspoken) part of that story that white America can walk it, talk it, but never really be it.  No book has ever captured that dichotomy, the tragedy of attempting to wear the affect of a life you can never truly assimilate, better than Triksta.

Now a word or eight on Nik Cohn, who I intend to write about at greater length in the future:  Nik Cohn is the greatest rock-pop journalist/author of the last half-century; although others make claim to the crown (Lester Bangs and Nick Tosches both spring to mind, and quite effectively, too), Cohn is The King; no one has better combined an extraordinary and original perspective on the half-century of post-Fabs Anglo/American pop-rock with an almost riotously original imagination and a deeply talented, almost scarring, skill for reportage.  I cannot sing Cohn’s praises more highly – he really is the pinnacle representative of his strange and often disgraceful profession; and lest you think I am exaggerating his importance, Cohn wrote the “source” material for two of the premiere musical/cultural phenomena of our time:  His non-fiction piece for New York Magazine, “Tribal Rites of the New Saturday Night,” was turned into Saturday Night Fever, and his utterly brilliant surreal novella, Arfur, about a strange, precocious pre-pubescent pinball goddess wandering through the back alleys of a mysterious night-city, was adapted by Pete Townshend into Tommy  

Okay, back to music (or some suchlike facsimile) tomorrow…I am willing to confess I know nothing about race, about what it is like to be on the wrong end of the American dream, to be the constant victim of the abomination of inequality and cultural insult; and this, I think, makes it absolutely appropriate for me to write about two brilliant books that are all-knowing by admitting everything that the authors could never know.

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