Brooklyn Heights, Food

Watch the Cone: One Man’s Struggle at the Brooklyn Heights Haagen Dazs

July 29, 2014

The following is a Brooklyn Bugle reader’s account of their experience at the Montague Street Haagen Dazs in Brooklyn Heights.

Who is the biggest asshole in the Heights? There’s tough competition, but today’s nominee is the guy behind the counter at night at the Haagen Dazs on Montague St. Here are his credentials:

Many customers complain that he weighs the scoops to ensure, heaven forbid, that he not dole out too much of that already overpriced ice cream. But what happened to me on Monday night was so egregious that he should be run out of town on a rail (from the grubby Clark St. station, no less!).

I called the shop at 10:45 to inquire when it closed and was told by a lady that it was open until 11 p.m. I rushed to the shop, getting there at 10:53 (verifiable!) only to find all the ice creams covered. But I’m a friendly, personable guy, so I said to the man who would later become the object of my eternal wrath, “You can’t be closed! It’s only 10:53. Isn’t it great that I got here before you closed.” He said, “We’re closed.” I said, “I’ll have a chocolate peanut butter in a sugar cone.” He decided against his better judgment to serve me.

Now, here’s where it gets truly assaholic. I have never in my entire 49 years of eating ice cream — from parlors all over the world in every season and at every time of day — been served a portion so measly as the one served by this paragon of parsimony. The ball of ice cream barely broke the plane of the cone itself! Three bites and I was done.

Oh, and it was $4! Four dollars! I could have gotten a pint of premium ice cream at a store. I remain enraged and will never darken that man’s door again.

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  • Peter Myers

    One Palestianian child is killed every hour and you whine about the ice cream cone. And I am a Jew.

    • GHB

      WTF does this have to do with the Palestinians? And I too am a Jew.

  • Jean Strong

    If this is his biggest complaint in his life he is one lucky bastard.

  • Simon

    I love the over reactions here! Lots of high horses to fall from eh?

  • Notapolitico

    People have complained about that place for years. It is a black mark on the brand, which makes pretty good ice cream. It comes direct from the owner, who is a complete ass. To boot, this is the first stand alone HD store — it should be the best one. They should give freebies! It should be fun to have ice cream. All that said, when you work in retail, it is very much the norm to start packing up the store about 20 minutes from closing…

  • Jenny

    Next time the urge strikes you,may I suggest Brooklyn Heights Deli, on the corner of Hicks and Montague. You can get a whole pint for not much more!!!! Oh, and Ben and Jerry’s make an excellent one filled with chunks of cone if you’re looking for the crunch factor! The other people in here, lighten up!!!

  • Sen. Bob Forehead

    You show up at 10:53 with an attitutude and he’s the asshole? FYI the sell Haagen Dazs at the grocery store.

  • Nate

    So glad you brought this up. That guy is a total asshole. An ice cream store should be a fun place. That guy scowls are everyone and is mean. And, yes, it’s also a ripoff. Lets send this link to the headquarters. That guy should work at the morgue. I try to convince the kids we should go somewhere else, but sometimes, they beat me with a stick so I have to take them there. Poop to him.

  • former heights resident

    I hate to ever be ” that guy” who walks into a food establishment shortly before closing.

    That said, it’s ice cream for goodness sake* not a sit down dinner. I could understand no shakes or something the last 15 minutes or so but we’re talking an ice cream cone.

    There’s no reason his cone couldn’t be dispensed well before their actual closing time of 11pm. The only thing needing to be cleaned is a lousy scoop.

    The “Soup Nazi” shtick does not translate to ice cream. It sounds like the owner needs to truly think about who represents them and the HD brand.

    One pissed off customer can easily negate 10 happy ones.

    • Pat I.

      When I go into an ice cream store 10 minutes before closing I never get anything
      that involves or interferes with cleaning the machinery – shake machine, soft ice cream dispenser, etc.

      Slightly off topic, I moved to S. Jersey a number of years ago. No shortage of ice cream parlors but the chain stores have to struggle – and that’s do to corporate. No I don’t want to ring bells for superior service, or be serenaded because I put a buck in the tip do I care for having my ice cream cone weighed as if it were crystal meth.

  • David on Middagh

    I wonder how many know of the secret gelato stand in the back of My Little Pizzeria?